*This post was previously published on Latter-Day


Every little girl has a vision of her future self as a woman.  How many of us actually achieve that vision?

All too often I hear other women say “I wish I was the kind of woman who… (exercised daily, looked nice every day, liked playing with her kids, didn’t watch TV, read non-fiction for fun, could run a marathon, made nutritious meals for her family, could keep the romance alive… take your pick, there are countless examples)… but I’m just not.”

In the April 2011 General Conference Elder Oaks spoke about desire.  He said:
Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions. The desires we act on determine our changing, our achieving, and our becoming.

I know that every talk means something different to each of us, but to me, Elder Oaks told me that I can be anyone I want to be, regardless of how hard or difficult the process is.

People are not static beings.  For better or worse, we are always changing.  If you are not actively striving to be better than you are slipping back into the natural man (or woman as the case may be).

Everyone has different things that they struggle with.  For me, I can’t watch television.  I allow myself to watch something fun while I run on the treadmill or occasionally with my family in the evenings.  I especially can’t watch dramas.  I get sucked in and waste HOURS watching them.  And it makes me grumpy.  We all know how crazy and grumpy our kids get when they get too much screen time.  The same holds true for me.  I also can’t seem to consistently feed my family nutritious foods.  I can go maybe two weeks before the brownies and ice cream come out.  I would be perfectly contented if I could sit on my couch eating ice cream out of the carton while watching a TV drama with no redeeming quality.  You can imagine how long I would find meaning and satisfaction doing that day after day.

Elder Oaks also said “Readjusting our desires to give highest priority to the things of eternity is not easy.”

It’s not easy!  The things that matter the most are never easy and are most always met with resistance on nearly all sides.  When we decided to homeschool we were met with criticism from family, friends, anti-homeschool people and even from some who had home schooled for years.  We knew it was important for our family.  We pushed through the criticism, the fear, doubt and the struggle our children had in adjusting to our new lifestyle.  Now we are a different family.  A better family for having followed the Lord’s plan for us.  Every day isn’t sunshine and lollipops, but knowing that we are doing what we are supposed to be doing makes the burden a little lighter.

I’m not the woman I was ten years ago.  In fact, I would go so far as to say that I’m not even friends with the woman I was ten years ago.

It has take a very long time along with many prayers and many tears, but I have finally gotten to the point where I can tell that I am becoming the woman I have always wanted to be.  I’m not there yet (ice cream anyone?), but I am definitely pointing in the right direction.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.  The first step in becoming who we want to be is having the desire to be that person.  If you are not who you want to be, then become as a little girl again.  Envision who you want to be when you grow up and get started on making it happen!  Take it one step at a time but if your vision is consistent with the Lord’s purpose for you, He will help you get there.
I’ll never be 5’7″.  I’ll never be an olympian.  I’ll never sing on Broadway and I’ll never be a size 2.  But I have managed to acquire many of the qualities that are that are important to me and are also consistent with what the Lord has planned for me so far.  I have to continually work to keep what I have earned.  Fortunately maintaining who you have become is much easier than changing from who you are into who you want to be.

The vision I have for myself is probably very different than the vision you have; and it’s supposed to be that way because you cannot have a harmony if everyone is playing the same note.

Someday I will have my farm and I will feed my family out of our own backyard garden; but today I am focusing on other things and so today I am going to have brownies and ice cream.


One Comment Add yours

  1. Cari says:

    Great post. It’ s so true. We are not stuck with life’s circumstances or the situations we grew up with, we have the ability to change and become who we want to be (within reason). I also am not friends with the person I was ten years ago and it’s hard for me to stay friends with people who remain as they were ten years ago. And I hope in ten more years I will look back on today and see many many more changes!


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